Your first scene with someone new is exciting and nerve-wracking in roughly equal measure. The difference between a good first scene and a bad one usually comes down to what happened before it started. Here is what to cover.
Experience levels. Be honest about where you are. "I have been doing rope for six years" and "I watched some tutorials and tried self-ties" are both valid starting points, but they lead to very different scenes. If one person assumes the other has more experience than they do, things go wrong fast. This also applies to the specific activity - someone experienced in impact play might be a complete beginner with wax.
Hard limits. Go through these explicitly. Do not ask "do you have any limits?" and accept "nothing too crazy" as an answer. That means nothing. Instead, name specific categories: face, neck, genitals, marks that show, blood, breath restriction, verbal humiliation, specific words. For each one, get a clear yes, no, or "ask me first." If someone cannot articulate their limits, that is useful information about their readiness.
Safewords and signals. Agree on a system before you start. Traffic lights are standard - green means keep going, yellow means slow down or check in, red means stop everything immediately. If the scene involves anything that prevents speech (gags, breath play, face-down positions), agree on a non-verbal signal like dropping a held object or tapping three times. Also agree on what "stop" means outside the safeword system - in some dynamics, "stop" is part of the play. In others, it means stop. Clarify this.
Intensity preferences. For each activity you are planning, talk about the range. Impact play: are we talking about a gentle warm-up or marks that last a week? Rope: decorative and comfortable, or restrictive and challenging? D/s: playful and light, or deep protocol? Use concrete descriptions, not relative terms. "Medium" means different things to different people.
Physical considerations. Injuries, joint problems, circulation issues, medications that affect pain tolerance or bruising, allergies (latex, certain materials, specific lubricants). Anything that affects what positions are safe, how long restraint can last, or what materials can touch skin.
Emotional triggers. Things that might cause an unexpected reaction. These are not always obvious and people do not always know their own triggers until they encounter them. The important thing is to establish that it is okay to pause or stop if something comes up, and to have a plan for what happens next.
Aftcare expectations. What each person needs after the scene ends. Physical aftercare: water, snacks, blankets, being held, being left alone. Emotional aftercare: talking about what happened, reassurance, silence. Timing: some people need aftercare immediately, some drop hours or days later. Also discuss who provides aftercare for whom - tops need aftercare too, and this often gets overlooked.
What happens if something goes wrong. A safeword is used, someone has a panic response, a tie slips, a toy breaks skin unexpectedly. Having a plan means you can respond instead of freeze. Keep safety shears accessible for rope. Know where the first aid kit is. Agree that either person can end the scene for any reason without it being a failure.
Consent for documentation. Photos, video, audio. Is anyone recording? Is anyone sharing details on social media or with friends? Consent for the scene is not consent for documentation. Clarify this separately.
A yes/no/maybe list or a tool like Lykewise can structure the activity-level conversation so you are not trying to remember everything. But the items above - especially safewords, limits, aftercare, and the plan for when things go sideways - need to be an actual conversation, not just checkboxes.