Lykewise is a tool for finding out what you have in common with someone -- without either of you having to go first.
Here is the short version: you pick questions from categories like kink, play, romance, or connection. You add someone by their identity code. You both answer the same questions privately. Only the things you both said yes to are ever revealed -- and only after you both approve.
The whole point is removing the awkwardness of "do they want this too?" conversations. Instead of guessing, hinting, or having a conversation where someone has to be vulnerable first, you both answer independently. If there is mutual interest, you find out. If there is not, nothing is shared and nobody has to feel rejected.
Lykewise is not a dating app. There are no profiles to browse, no swiping, no algorithms deciding who you see. You use it with specific people you already know or have connected with -- a friend, a play partner, someone from a munch, someone in your polycule. You share your identity code however you like: in a DM, on your FetLife profile, on a card at a party.
The app works in three steps. First, you create a question set and pick the questions that matter to you. Second, both people answer independently. Third, you each see a summary -- how many questions the other person said yes to, but not which ones. Only after you both choose to approve are the specific shared answers revealed.
There are several safety layers built in. Test questions let you flag answers you said no to, so you can spot someone who is just saying yes to everything. Similarity thresholds let you control how much overlap is needed before results are shared. And either person can block at any point, which means nothing is ever revealed.
Lykewise is free to use. You just need an account to get started.